If you are like most people, it will not take long to encounter a situation where you feel slighted in one way or another by someone you are trying to do business with. When these situations arise, it is helpful to know how to approach the problem in a way that results in getting the results you want without throwing gasoline on the flames. With a careful choice of wording, you can turn a negative into a positive, and get the offending party to tumble over themselves to make things right.

To illustrate this point, I will use a simple example of a situation I encountered recently in a fast food establishment. A friend of mine went to the counter and ordered a sandwich. He paid for the item, and went to a table in the dining room. When he looked at the sandwich, I saw him frown and hesitate to begin eating. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me the sandwich was not prepared the way he requested. I then asked if he was going to take it back to the counter, and I saw another look of pain on his face. He told me the clerk had been so pleasant, he hated to go back and confront the person with the information that they had made the mistake of not putting enough extra pickles on the sandwich as he had asked, but he also did not want to eat the sandwich because it was not right. My friend struggled with whether or not to accept the error, and asked me how he could get the employee to correct the problem without having to offend the person by telling them they had made a mistake.

My response was to return to the counter and say to the cashier, “Excuse me, could I trouble you for some extra pickles?” My friend was up like a shot and said exactly what I instructed him to say. Moments later, he returned to the table beaming and carrying a cup filled with more pickles than he wanted to eat, with a smile and wave from the happy restaurant cashier. In this encounter, there was no mention that any mistake had occurred, and nothing said to trigger any kind of negative reflex defensive reaction from the restaurant employee. All too often, people follow their first impulse to lodge a complaint and turn a minor issue into a needless argument or embarrassment. Using the softer calculated approach I recommended, my friend got what he wanted, and the cashier was more than happy to fill the request. The situation was settled without accusations or ruffled feathers, and nobody came away feeling uncomfortable from dealing with a confrontation.

Though this incident was a minor example for how to develop an instinct for a positive approach, the same technique will serve equally well in more important encounters. If you take the time to consider what you want, and approach the situation with a friendly, non-accusing attitude, you can set the stage for easily accomplishing the objective. It is rarely necessary for you to include the mention that someone is responsible for making a mistake in order to accomplish your true objective. Even when someone is clearly at fault in causing a situation, telling them they have done something wrong sets their mind toward attempting to justify themselves, and causes them to think more about why they did not make a mistake than how to correct the problem. The alternative is to ask for help, which instinctively causes most people to do their best to fulfill the request, especially if they believe they will please you by doing what you ask. The next time you feel something needs to be corrected, look past any initial anger the situation causes, and see how effectively this simple approach will get the results you want. These techniques work well on both sides of the sales counter.