Author: James Walsh Added: October 2, 2007
Unlike all forms of abuse, emotional abuse is more subtle and most of the time it goes unnoticed even by the victim. It can be defined as consistently saying something to insult, embarrass, scorn, shame or hurt a person mentally. Though there are no visible scars as a result of this type of abuse it may still have an irreparable and long lasting damage on a person’s self esteem. .
Emotional abuse can take many forms. Telling Someone he or she is worthless, no one likes or wants them, making mockery of their belief or faith, locking them in a room, threatening to harm them or someone they love, accusing and criticising constantly, finding fault with everything are to name a few.
<b>How to Detect Emotional Abuse </b>
The victim who has been subjected to emotional abuse exhibits certain characteristics and can be detected from the following symptoms:
<ul><li>depression</li>
<li>fearfulness</li>
<li>withdrawal</li>
<li>social isolation</li>
<li>suicide attempts</li>
<li>feeling of guilt and shame </li></ul>
A major reason for divorce among couples today is emotional abuse. But walking away from a marriage is not the solution. It has to be understood that a person who is emotionally abusing is psychologically ill. Childhood insecurity and fear may be the reason for a person to behave in such a way. It is a disease of the mind and has to be handled with care. Hence, instead of walking away from the problem one should try to find the reason behind it and solve it. Psychologists feel that in case a person starts to emotionally abuse the partner after marriage, the first thing that should be done is to consult a psychologist and adhere to his treatment.
According to counselors there are broadly two levels of emotional abuse:
<ul><li>Minor level of abuse wherein the abuser inflicts minor emotional stress on a person, such as crying and complaining, acting stubborn, not listening to them, etc. In short, minor level of emotional abuse is something that can be treated and cured with patience and time. </li>
<li>Major level of abuse is more serious in nature and nurtures under the minor abuse, if it is not treated on time. These abuse include trying to restrict someone from doing something forcefully, controlling someone’s activities and sexual abuse. </li></ul>
<b>Impact of Emotional Abuse</b>
Emotional abuse can have far more serious physical and psychological impact on a man or a woman than any other form of abuse. They may undergo depression, anxiety and permanent physical disabilities. Emotional abuse leaves permanent scars on the soul. Often physical or sexual abuse is followed by emotional abuse. In fact, all abuses contain elements of emotional abuse. It follows a certain pattern that is it is repeated and sustained. Usually emotional abuse victimises those who are the weakest. Woman and children are the sufferers most of the time.
There are serious implications of emotional abuse on a person:
<ul><li>Losing confidence - A person who is always told that he/she does not do anything right tends to lose confidence in oneself. The person loses faith in whatever he/she does and always has a fear that he/she is doing something wrong</li>
<li>Increased dependence on spouse - Due to lack of confidence the person will not be able to do anything on his/her own. He /she will start depending on his/her spouse even for the smallest of things. </li>
<li>Subdued/introverted behaviour - In case someone is repeatedly told that he is wrong, he is stupid, ugly or worthless time and again. With time he/she starts believing the same. As a result he/she will develop an inferiority complex and will start shying away. Facing the world will become a major challenge and slowly he /she will turn into an introvert personality. </li>
<li>Permanent psychological impact – In some extreme cases, the victim can have serious and permanent impact on his/her heart and brain. This may also lead to suicidal attempts by the victim.</li></ul>
<b>The Last Word</b>
In case your partner turns out to be emotionally abusive, do not resort to the extreme measures of ignoring the fact or jumping into divorce immediately. With the right psychological help, you might be able to rebuild a happy married life.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed <a href="http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk">divorce</a> see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
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