Each new year we set goals and new year’s resolutions but a few months down the track very few people have done anything to achieve them and the obvious question is why? For many people the reason they fail is because they sabotage their own dreams.

Michael wants to own a home, he decides to pay off his debts as quickly as possible and save money for a deposit. The next weekend he goes out and buys a new car on credit. He is now deeper in debt and further away from owning his own home than ever as any disposable income he had is now taken up by new car repayments.

Why do we sabotage ourselves? There are a number of reasons.

1. Sabotage occurs when a belief and reality differ

For instance you could have a belief that limits you. Your core beliefs have resulted from your childhood conditioning, and have been reinforced by the limits that you have placed upon yourself. An example of some limiting beliefs are: there is never enough for me; I can’t have what I really want; life’s a struggle; I’m too old/young/uneducated; it’s not what you know it’s who you know. So whenever your reality looks like contradicting that belief and you may actually be close to succeeding, you will sabotage your own efforts. The reason you do this is because your unconscious doesn’t know the difference between fact and fiction. It will simply help you achieve whatever is programmed into it. If that is a belief in limitation then your subconscious will support you in remaining in that state.

2. Sabotage occurs when your values are in conflict

Any time your values come into conflict with each other you have the potential for self-sabotage. For instance, if you value freedom and security you have the potential to sabotage your own efforts. While you may be striving for financial security, your deep-seated need for freedom could mean you sabotage your own efforts. As a result you may find the job you thought was perfect to begin with restricts your freedom, and so you give it up. Or, you may always be coming up with ideas on how to make money, thinking this will give you both security and freedom. However, you tend to act impulsively and you often fail to check out all the facts. In the long run all that happens is that you feel even more insecure and the freedom you have is an illusion.

3. Sabotage occurs when you fear something

Growing up I was sometimes told no man would ever want me because I was too independent. As a result of this belief I limited my own success for a long time because I was afraid if I was really successful I’d lose the man in my life. You may be afraid of being noticed, being different or being criticised. You may want to succeed but be afraid of the responsibility. If the fear is greater than the desire for success the fear will win.

The worst thing about self-sabotage is that it is easy to spot in others and difficult to recognise in your own behaviour. So listed below are some further examples of self-sabotage to help you recognise where you may be hindering your own success.

Sabotage can occur when you:

• are always going from one money making scheme to the next e.g. network marketing.

• are always going from one training course to the next, no matter how qualified you are you think you need more credentials before you can start.

• believe that when you find your life purpose you will know what to do.

• constantly live beyond your means.

• regularly experience the yo–yo cycle in your financial affairs, or any other area of your life. By that I mean you succeed for awhile, then things go wrong, and this cycle of succeeding and failing becomes a regular pattern.

• talk to others about what you are going to do.

• refuse to look at your exact financial situation (e.g. you avoid making a budget).

• spend every cent that comes your way.

• blame other people/circumstances for what has happened to you and the circumstances you are in.

• invest in something you don’t really understand.

• make promises you know you can’t keep (e.g you take on a loan you don’t know where the money is coming from to repay).

The good news is that once you recognise your patterns, you can change them. The first thing you need to do is to recognise, then change your pay-off. By pay offI meant the emotional benefit you gain from your repeated self-sabotaging behaviour. Look at the patterns that keep recurring in your life and ask yourself what you gain from them. Be honest. Is it that you gain attention from talking about problems, failures, money troubles, health problems, or how unfairly you are treated? Could you be avoiding a deep-seated fear such as being afraid that you aren’t really good enough, so your problems prevent you from confirming that belief?

Make this year the year that you can finally say, “I always get everything that I want”. Then this will become your new reality, then you will be able to love your money and love your life.

Anne Hartley is a life coach and author of several books including Love The Life You Live and Love Your Money Love Your Life. Anne publishes a free newsletter, free ecourse and you can find free book extracts on her site at http://www.hartlifecoaching.com.au