The Four Letters Between PG & R When I was a kid, there were certain words you just didn't say in front of your parents, or any grownup suspected of being a parental snitch. Swear words, my mama called them, cuss words, words little kids shouldn't say lest the Bad Word Police come take
Sometimes Life Just Ain't Funny It's not uncommon to wake up to a blue sky filled with brilliant sunshine and white puffy clouds, then go to bed that evening with the wind and rain beating against your window.
Some People Will Eat Anything This week's column contains news so scary, so utterly horrific, that I, the author of said column, hereby declare that I will not be held responsible for the mental anguish or irreparable emotional damage caused by reading it.
Smoke 'em If You Can Afford 'em "If I were president, I'd make friends with Cuba and tell China to take a hike," Heywood said seriously. "I hate Chinese food, but I'd love a good Cuban cigar."
Show Me The Money “I worked for a menial's hire, only to learn dismayed, that any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid.” – Jessie Belle Rittenhouse
Pick On Somebody Your Own Size Unless you've spent the past few weeks living in a cave that isn't wired for cable, you've undoubtedly heard that Mattel, Inc.
No Sale Like A Yardsale Her problem is no mere sickness of the blood, my friends. Hers is a sickness of the mind, the spirit and the body. It's an all-encompassing affliction, kind of the same thing you'd get the morning after downing the aforementioned case of Silver Bullets, I
If You Clone A Schizophrenic Like all great men of superior intelligence, I spend an inordinate amount of time knee deep in heavy contemplation.
I Hope You Kept The Receipt That's when I realized that it doesn't matter how early in the season you shop if you have no idea what you're shopping for.
Honey, Did You Take Your Pill? The newspaper headline read: Male Contraceptive Pill Shows Promise, Pilot Study Finds. Hmm, I thought, a study of pilots who practice safe sex, how interesting. Is this what the FAA is spending my hard-earned tax dollars on? No wonder they're called "the
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