Mike Zapler, MedianNews Sacramento Bureau, January 18, 2007, reported, "Assemblywoman Sally Lieber, D-Mountain View, wants to outlaw spanking of children up to age 3. If she succeeds, California would become the first state to explicitly ban parents from smacking their children." This statement is misleading—banning spanking of children under age 3 is not banning spanking of children.
"I think it's pretty hard to argue you need to beat a child 3 years old or younger," Lieber said. "Is it OK to whip a 1-year-old or a 6-month-old or a newborn?" My question to Ms. Lieber is—What makes it OK to hit a child after age three? With this line of thinking then why do current laws prohibit all hitting of adults? If this line of thinking is appropriate then we need to change the law that it is OK to hit anyone between age 3 and 75, but no adult 75 plus one day can be hit for any reason or circumstance. Our children are the most vulnerable and dependent citizens, and our seniors age 75 plus are our most vulnerable and dependent citizens, therefore, they deserve to be protected, whereas all other citizens can fend for themselves—catch as catch can.
"Where do you stop?" asked Assemblyman Chuck DeVore, R-Irvine, who said he agrees children younger than 3 should not be spanked but has no desire to make it the law. "At what point are we going to say we should pass a bill that every parent has to read a minimum of 30 minutes every night to their child? This is right along those same lines."
Assemblyman Chuck DeVore’s statement—“At what point are we going to say we should pass a bill that every parent has to read a minimum of 30 minutes every night to their child? This is right along those same lines,”—is convoluted. He is comparing apples to oranges. It is comparing apples to oranges because not reading to a child may prevent the child from being in the top 1% academically for their age group, however, spanking a child causes immeasureable emotional, mental, physical, spiritual damage and is a betrayal of trust by the people whom the child trusts implicitly. This betrayal is so deep and pervasive a person without professional help may not be able to overcome the emotional and spiritual trauma.
“Lieber conceived the idea while chatting with a family friend and legal expert in children's issues worldwide. The friend, Thomas Nazario, said that though banning spanking might seem radical for the United States, more than 10 European countries already do so. Sweden was the first, in 1979.” If Ms. Lieber were truly following the example of the 10 European Countries, she would call for a complete ban of hitting, whacking, paddling, spanking, children for any reason. The same ban that is afforded adults.
Our laws and cultural values are unambiguous concerning adults who physically hit/slap or verbally threaten adults. It is recognized as criminal, and we hold the offenders accountable. Why then, when so much is at stake for society, do we accept the excuses of those who hit children? Why do we become interested in the needs of children only after they have been terribly victimized, or have become delinquents victimizing others?
The answer is: We cannot believe that hitting children is abuse until we can honestly acknowledge the mistreatment from our own childhood experiences and examine the shortcomings of our own parents. To the extent we feel compelled to defend our parents and guard their secrets, we will do the same for others. We will promote physical punishment as a 'standard' form of discipline or look the other way. By continually insisting that we ‘turned out okay,’ we are reassuring ourselves and diverting ourselves from deeply hidden unpleasant memories.
The harm of spanking has been thoroughly explained and demonstrated over the past century in academic literature, scientific research, legal treatises, and recently in the popular media. We know that spanking is still considered the preferential form of child discipline as 22 states allow paddling with a wooden paddle in schools. Further evidence that spanking is a preferential form of child discipline is revealed in a random telephone survey done by Harvard Medical Center in 1997. 67% of parents surveyed stated they hit their child(ren) an average of once a week.
Some people believe spanking is justified or even commanded in the Bible—Proverbs. There is a distinction between the practice in King Solomon’s day of beating adults on the back and modern practice of spanking/hitting children on the buttocks. The latter is not prescribed anywhere in the Bible. Furthermore, the Old Testament contains passages that could be (and in some incidents have been) construed as divine endorsements of wife-beating, racial warfare, slavery, the stoning to death of rebellious children and other behaviors that are outrageous by today’s standards.
Recognition of the harm of spanking can only begin with an acknowledgment of the truth. It is futile to hope that denial, lies, evasions and excuses can somehow erase the memory and pain of past injuries.
"There never was a time when a major social problem was solved by beating a child. And there never will be such a time... For centuries adults have injured children and have lied about it, and other adults have heard those lies and then merely turned away... we must begin putting the blame where it belongs." . -- C. Everett Koop, M.D., Sc.D
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net | |
