Our values define who we are and what we do. They can be described as the personal rules that we choose to live by. Values are traits or characteristics that are worthwhile for a person to have.

Some values are referred to as core values; these are the ones that are relevant to the major areas of your life. For Example, if you have a deep held religious conviction, this is likely to be the core value in your life.

Values are basic things that are important to a person. It can be a principle (such as justice), a state or experience (such as spirituality), an activity (such as creative expression), or a thing (such as the family). For example, a person may decide to be a writer or a painter because creativity is a more important value than being wealthy. Being a good painter is the goal, creativity is the value. When goals are in conflict with a person's values, then the person will have difficulty in attaining such goals, and the person will probably be unhappy in pursuing such goals, even if he/she attains them.

There are many possible approaches to discovering what our values are. A few approaches are suggested below. It must be remembered that values must be discovered, and hence it may take time and patience for us to identify them. We must repeat the process many times before we can be sure that they are our true values.

On a sheet of paper, write down the three most important things that you would like to happen or to attain before you die. (It is important that you write it down, and not just think about it.) For instance, being able to send your children to college, or to write a book, or to have your own house, or to become a more spiritual person could be what you desire. Write them down even if you are not very sure, you will have a chance to change them later. You may write more than three items.

Next, list down your replies to this question: What principles do you wish to live by in your life and in your pursuit of the most important things you listed above? What character qualities do you wish to have or be known for when people remember you after you die? Write your answers freely and at random. You can review them later. For example, "being respected by others;" "having integrity in whatever I do;" "being sincere to other people;" "always having faith in the Lord;" "being fair and just to everyone;" "being persevering;" etc. (An alternative approach is to write your own obituary, how you would want to be described as a person after you die.)

What you have listed above will help you discover your values in life, or the important things that you value in life. During the first time that you do this, you may be unsure as to the correctness of your lists. Make another set of lists after a day, a week, a month, or a year. Compare your earlier and later lists. You will gradually become more certain as to its correctness as you do this exercise repeatedly.

You must review the desirability of your chosen values. Some of your chosen values may turn out to be narrow and selfish, and eventually harmful not only to others but to yourself. Study well the art of living. Your values, if chosen well, will become your indispensable compass during difficult periods of your life.

The following list contains some key words that represent values. (Please add your own words to the list at any time.) Read through the whole list and notice your responses to each key word. Which one resonates most strongly? Select your top ten, and then rank them in order of importance to you.

Achievement, Fulfilment, Knowledge, Security, Adventure, Fun, Leadership, Self-discipline Beauty, Fitness, Learning, Self esteem, Charity, Freedom, Love, Service, Community, Generosity, Loyalty, Spirituality, Compassion, Happiness, Nature, Status, Creativity Health, Passion, Strength, Dignity, Honesty, Patriotism, Supportiveness, Discipline, Honour Peace, Surrender, Diversity, Humility, Power, Sensitivity, Ethics, Independence, Perfection, Time, Excellence, Individuality, Pride, Truth, Faith, Integrity, Reason, Trust, Family, Intimacy, Respect, Winning, Finance, Justice, Recognition, Wisdom, Friendship, Kindness, Risk and Working

Reflect on your list of ten values. How are your values mirrored in your goals? What areas of your life provide the truest expression of your values? What areas lead you away from what you value?

My values are as follows: Spiritual, Family, Friendships, Integrity, Honesty, Love, Peace, Happiness, Growth, Knowledge, Wisdom, Achievement, Kindness, Service, Leadership, Power, Truth, Self- discipline, Fulfilment. While my core values are: Faith, Family, Fitness, Friendship, Fulfilment and Finance.

Dayo Olomu is a UK-based motivational Speaker, Human Potential Developer, Business/Life Coach, Writer, Trainer, Infopreneur, a Competent Leader and an Advance Toastmaster. His core belief is that we are all eninfo@dayoolomu.comdowed with seeds of greatness, and his mission is to inspire and empower individuals and organisations to higher levels of achievement and peak performance. He is the author of best selling “4 Indispensable Strategies for Success” and the charter President of Croydon Communicators Toastmasters. Visit his website at www.dayoolomu.com or send an e-mail to info@dayoolomu.com